war and peace
all war movies are filled with much smaller war movies.
city of god
I carry a wicker basket with me. I open it up when something bad happens.
the best things to hear are things that are so far away that you think of a firefly on a star. you're in the desert. it's ok, you're swimming in a pool at the motor inn. it's in the desert.
on the nature of the universe
when I die, I hope that no one comes to visit me in a truck.
if you are angry, don't think of it as anger. think of it as a tulip.
the consolation of philosophy
have you ever been kissed before? no no no no no no no no no no.
1965: discussion about starting a stamp collection.
1999: a second discussion about starting a stamp collection.
"the poem about the onion was my favorite," I said.
"love," he said, "is your window of opportunity."
call of the wild
"I bet you've never thrown a giraffe like that!"
"no, I haven't," he said, blushing.
according to horace, if you have a clear conscience, you simply do not need poisoned arrows or moroccan javelins.
some people say, the most secret feelings are stored beneath the rocks.
ten billion wishes
ten billion letters is exactly the number of letters that I would like to receive in the mail.
playing the musical recordings of fleas to an audience of two, one smiled, and danced; the other frowned, and did not dance.
a cracker is transitory. a cracker crushed into mush is fixed and eternal.
a guitar can be everything form the stinging of a bee to a pudgy wine bar proprietor out for a jog before work in the cool winter afternoon sun.
totem and taboo
if you have a car, it is often a good idea to lean against it while kissing.
bad news makes gentlemen drive fast and listening to jazz vibraphone music on the car radio makes the situation worse, far worse.
the decline and fall of the roman empire
with a boom the lights went on. you could see the blankets, the stuffed frogs, the cockatoos, the dirty laundry, the name tags on the pillows, everything.
a passion play
now that the master and mistress are dead, the unfriendly cat returns. "what's new?" he asks.
a man opened a bank account with a peseta. that is worth 8/10th of one cent. it isn't a joke: it is a bank account. in it, is a peseta.
the theory of the leisure class
on wednesday, I watched an award-winning chef cry as he sliced an onion with a knife that looked extremely expensive.
I have a great idea. let's start clapping.
those who put their clothes upon the laundry lines of others are a nomadic breed. their presence is obscure and is felt rather than seen. they are a distilled essence of humanity.
salt peanuts (in french)
you can name anything whatever you want in this wonderful world of jazz.
in my dream I am pulling on a circle as hard as I can trying my best to stop it from being a circle.
"I have read shakespeare," he said, "and I am no longer afraid."
recherche du temps perdu
the happiest day of my life was when I woke up and the wind had blown open the door and from my bed I could see someone walking by my house on the sidewalk, but that wasn't the best part.
"tuxedo black" was the way he described the feeling he had.
let me give you this pillow as a token of my affection.
I read in the newspaper that you must never ask for a "trim" in a barbershop in istanbul.
murder she wrote
the chicken parmesan wrap with pickles, black pepper, tomatoes, lettuce, ranch dressing but no hot peppers. at least, not yet.
they say that if you have a stack of books, and one of the books is the
bible, that the bible should always be on top of the stack.
— mel torme
the complete gospels
there was a man who stoop at a busy intersection and handed out free toothbrushes to everybody who passed by. someone said: "it's just like what jesus did!"
later that night, as I ate a cupcake, I though about how terribly wrong that was.
please hand me exactly one sneaker.
the inside of the pizza crust is not greasy.
cervantes only had one arm.
the divine comedy
I walked right up and even though I was a little nervous I gathered my courage and said:
"hello, rolls royce."
number of songs that contain the word "rotogravure": one